“Her breasts stood out like Mussolini’s balcony,” he remembered as a child. Mike’s first memory of his seventh grade history teacher was her frontal view. He had hit the tit lottery. Everyone else had Mrs. Hanson and she was not the tit representation that Mrs. Dalton was. This was a view he would cherish, a love that was real and one that would last forever.
“I sat around with my friends and we tried to find an appropriate name for these things, “he said. They were much more than boobs and they were on a quest to find a name that would fit them.
“I couldn’t call those things boobs, tits or knockers. They were something more powerful. They changed my life,” says Mike.
They went through an assortment of names before coming up with the final name. They went through teats, bazooms, headlights, boobies, hooters, bazookas, zeppelins and many others before getting the permanent, the final and the name that would stick forever. They would be called----The Double Whammies.
Ahhhh…The breast. In the beginning was the breast. Our first instinct was to go to the breast, which was a thing that sustained life. Our first instinct is to go to the boob and attach ourselves; the fleshy mound that gives us life.
It happened a hundred million years ago. An intricate biological process in which our chemical makeup began to transmute and mutate blood into milk, then get it out of the creature into the mouths of their offspring. Some call it evolution and some call it God. Whatever it is, it is the first thing we do as living creatures.
From that point on, man has loved the breast, worshipped the breast and even fought over the breast. Breasts throughout our history have undergone a series of change.
During ancient history, breasts were displayed to their finest. Much of the art from our ancient past depicts the breast as a thing of both beauty and functionality. A naked woman was represented with big boobs and hips to show fertility.
As Christianity swept the lands, modesty became part of religious behavior. Women began to hide their breasts and public exposure could surely give eternal damnation.
In the Renaissance period, breasts took on a shape matching the abundance of the time. Women of size were thought to be the most desirable. Bountiful flesh and large boobs were abundant in the art of this time.
Going into the Victorian era, breasts took a dive. Straight to high-necked dresses and were jammed into corsets. They were wrapped up until reduced and otherwise stuffed away like common criminals.
The mid-twentieth century saw the breast get set free once again. Thinning straps and scant tops were all the rage. Then Twiggy burst on the scene and small breasts became the thing to have. Lack of womanly form was very popular to have and any woman with curves or breast size had to sit on the sidelines and wish for a miracle.
In the last few decades breasts of all shapes and sizes became popular once again. They boobs grew prevalent in the media and they public eye. The media loves the breasts. They get ratings, sell goods and generally make a profit. Ratings are down? Stick in a tit. Need a boost in your annual sales report? Through in a boob. Do we need to question ourselves as to why breast implants are so popular?
My friend Steve feels that more than a mouthful is a waste. “If I go out and meet a woman with big breasts, I am risking a chance at saline sacks and it’s just not worth the risk,” he says.
He loves to look at nice big rounded ones but feels the risk is too great and decided a few years ago to stick with the smaller ones. He uses the cliché “more than a mouthful is a waste” as a way to back out of the whole plastic surgery topic. The hardness of the breast is a turn off and he would much rather a smaller one with a softer feel to it.
Back in the day, a man looking at a woman’s breasts was because he found them amazing enough to be interested. He found them alluring and dreamt of being with those breasts. Today, most men look at women’s breasts and wonder if they’re real.
Then there was my other friend Robin, who stood firm in her decision to get “those” saline sacks. “Today’s media imagery communicates quite clearly that the best breast, the breast as it should be, is the youthful looking breast. It is a firm, milky white globe; not a sagging tubular bellybutton cover or two buttons affixed to your chest plate” she says.
She was born flat-chested and always felt unfeminine to the men in her life. They only way she could get comfortable in her own skin was to get a boob job. She saved and saved and eventually got the breasts that made her feel like the woman she was truly meant to be.
“I know women continue to consider their breasts as symbolic representations of themselves and I know that is not what we ‘should’ be doing but I could not be flat chested any longer”, says Robin.
Robin was willing to risk the small amount of her soft breast tissue to be stretched across a larger globe shaped saline sack. It was a small price to pay for a chest that she has always dreamt about. “If breasts are power and I have none, I’ll take fake power. With my boob job, my world has changed to the better,” Robin replied.
Robin recently had breast augmentation and now she feels she rules the world. She is now confident is situations where she was once awkward. This boob job has helped her capture a power within herself that she could not find before. Of course she had it in her to begin with, but it was a way to get her power out right now.
Breasts are a part of each woman’s’ personal power. In accepting that very important part of your body, small or large, you develop a form of power that is acceptance of yourself. That is REAL power.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is another friend of mine named Malia. She is a large woman with big features. It’s in her genealogy, she’s Samoan. “My breasts are so large that men do not look at me as a person but as a carrier of these two large fleshy mounds,” she said.
She feels that men’s admiration for her is false because it is not centered on her as a person. She is playing second fiddle to her large breasts. Malia is looking at the possibility of a breast reduction.
Women from all walks of life and with all different breast sizes know one thing about their breasts; most men love to look at them. Getting what you want is just a matter of how you work you breast viewing. With the right breast presentation, large or small, almost anything is obtainable from most men.
As wrong as this may seem, a waitress friend of mine use to wear a baggy shirt when she was at work. Her tips were moderate and she was happy with them. Then one day she came into work and pulled a long string on her shirt and it unraveled until there was a hole in her shirt. She borrowed a shirt from a smaller coworker which made her boobs tightly snuggle together and a bit more exposed.
“I couldn’t believe it, my tips went from 15 percent to 25 percent,” she said. She has since allocated all her baggy shirts to pajama tops.
The breasts have come a long way, after its repetitious journey in and out of the limelight. Breasts have been dependant on religion, politics, public moral standards and personal satisfaction. Breasts have been shown and been hidden away from sight. Today, breasts emerge proud and sensual and are here for a while.
A moment of silence for the Double Whammies please.
